It's not even over, but it will be soon....

 

There's always a bit of a let down and a glimpse of depression when Christmas is over.  The month of December is so much fun, building up to Christmas.  It's all the preparing and hustle and bustle that's the real excitement of the holidays and when Christmas mornging rolls around....it is gone in a flash.  Then you're left with wrapping paper to clean up, too much candy to eat and upcoming resolutions to make.  However....not in our family!  We still have one more "holiday" event to look forward to every year!  New Year's Eve at my sister's house!  Ginger, my sister and Kevin, my brother-in-law, host a very special, family New Years Eve dinner at their house every year.  We do a fun "white elephant" gift exchange and they prepare a huge "Thanksgiving like" feast!  We eat, play card games, charades and toast with sparkling cider at midnight!   It's so much fun and a great way to end the year.  So, at the moment when we know Christmas has, once again, come and gone....we get to immediately look forward to New Year's Eve at the Beaman's! 

I Am Proud To Know You.....

We all lost an incredible man just 11 days before Christmas.   He entered my life 11 years ago, and I haven't been the same since.  There's some people that just strike it lucky with wonderful in laws...and I am among those few.  My father in law, Bob, was not only an amazing father in law....but his presence in my life changed me forever. 

Other than my own father, never have I known such a good man.  Bob was passionate, talented, kind hearted, warm, loving and most of all....selfless.  He truly loved his family and I am lucky enough to count myself as part of his family.  His loyalty and commitment to everyone he loved made everyone around him feel calm, happy and at peace. 

Bob helped me through some awful, tough times in my life, when nobody else seemed to know what else to say.  He understood my pain and showed me that time heals and faith bring peace.  He helped me so much and provided comfort in a time when the world seemed impossible to face.  The good times and memories we shared will forever be in my heart and I will always treasure them.

Before Bob passed, I wrote him a letter....and though I won't disclose all of what the letter said...I want to share part of it with you all.  Every year, David and I bought Bob, the "You Might Be a Redneck" desk calendar.  It was a tradition...and he loved it.  That calendar continued to tickle him, year after year...and though he never wanted Christmas presents....I know he looked forward to that one every year.   In the letter I told him that he is who he is and nobody can alter or change him.  If he's a redneck, he's a redneck. :)  But, most of all, he was a loving, caring man that was so in love with David's mom, Sonna.  I've never seen a man so crazy about anyone before in my life.  (I told him I was kind of envious of their mushy, gushy relationship!) Haha...just kidding, but they were pretty darn cute. 

Just the core of who is was and will forever live on to be in our hearts, is enough to make all of us extra thankful that, not only do we have proof that such a wonderful kind of person can exist in this world, but that we were lucky enough to have him in our lives.  I'm so proud to call him my father in law...and so honored to be his daughter in law. 

Oh the Days Go By So Fast....

Oh how I wish I had more time to blog.  I really love it.  There's so much to write about and so much I want to share and remember.  Hopefully, now with the busy holidays coming to an end, I will have lots more time to blog, blog, blog! 

I have been spending some of my time on my other blog, Trapeze Paper Crafts.  It's been a lot of fun crafting and making videos for my crafty YouTube channel.  I made several homeade gifts for Christmas this year and I will be posting pictures on my other blog very soon. 

So, I am very happy to report that I am home in Arizona!  Don't get me wrong, San Francisco was a lovely, artistic city and I was very intrigued by it....but I am so glad to be home!  We made it on time for Thanksgiving and I feel like it's been go, go, go ever since!  I always "overdo" the holidays.  There just aren't enough hours in the day to buy gifts, make gifts, decorate, clean, wrap, cook, bake, run a cupcake business, work 40 hours a week at my real job, plus do the things I WANT to do like spend time with my family, play with my nephew, watch movies with my husband, read a book...and blog!  I say every year that I am going to keep it simple, so I can actually enjoy the holidays.  You know, put the tree up, but don't cover every corner of my house with plaid and peppermint.  Bake, but don't take 17 cupcake orders in a period of 1 week.  Buy and wrap gifts, but don't use a different wrapping paper for each gift, don't start the shopping on December 22nd and don't go overboard!  Maybe handmake something, but don't be so unorganized that it literally looks like a tornado hit your craft room. 
Keep it simple!

It was stressful all the way up to the end of Christmas Eve, but I have to say that Christmas Day was wonderful.  It's been a very different year.  A dear, dear, incredible man in our lives passed away  a couple weeks ago....my father-in-law, Bob.  He was like nobody I have every known before.  I will be writing a separate post about him soon.  He was so loved and will be dearly missed forever.  So, you see, with all that's gone on this year...I can really say that I'm glad this year is almost over!   I will be honest...I have struggled this year with things that were just thrown at me and to which I had no power over whatsover.  I am hoping that the new year will bring change and a fresh start.  The good things are a constant and those are the people in my life that make life worth living...so those can and will stay the same....but for everything else....change is necessary.  I will explain more about that in a separate blog post, too!

I'll leave you, for now, with this significant lyric...

"There's reason to believe, maybe this year will be better than the last..."

And it will be!

My Crafty Momma....

This weekend starts the beginning of CRAFT SEASON!  Our first craft fair is on Saturday, and it's definitely one of my favorites of the year!  I won't be home from San Francisco yet, so unfortunately, I will miss out... not to mention that Town and Country will miss out on Tootsie Tillie Cupcakes this year!  However, in the spirit of this first weekend of craft shows...I am bound and determined to go to one out here!  I have found this one and it's this weekend in Mill Valley, CA!  Mill Valley is such a charming and beautiful little town...and very artsy, so I am excited!  It's about a 10 minute drive from where we are and for a bonus, it's where my favorite crafting store is located just a little ways down the road!  It's so much fun to attend craft fairs to look and get ideas and inspiration.  The crafting store is hosting a free scrap day for paper crafters that day, so it looks like maybe it will be a very crafty Saturday for me! 

I am still very excited for my mom and sisters to do good in the craft fair back home.   They have been making some adorable things and my sweet mom has even sent me the most adorable fall tote/purse to cheer me up and give me a taste of our favorite time of year.  Here it is...isn't it ADORABLE??!!

 

 

I'm so in love with it and I'm gonna load this baby up as my purse and show it off at the craft fair this weekend. 

 

My mom will be selling some of these at her craft show this weekend along with a lot of other handmade items.  She's so talented and can make anything!  She always made us outfits when we were little and provided endless supplies of sheet pants during that craze.  If I ever need something hand painted, sewn or created....she always comes through with something even better than I imagined!  If I needed a shirt the next day for a pep rally in high school...she'd get out her air brush and create away!  Now that she has a grandson, she has really gotten good at baby blankets and with another grand baby on the way....I can't wait to see what she will make next!  I'm so glad that I have such a creative mom and that I can share this passion for crafting with her and my sisters.  How lucky are we to have the BEST MOM IN THE WORLD??  Very lucky..I must say. :)

Flying High Above the Sadness and the Fear....

There never seemed to be "an end in sight" as some are calling it...until today.  With what started last March seemed like a never ending journey that just got harder and harder as the days progressed.  There's the medical factor, which is what is on the surface and what has been the most exhausting element of this stressful period of our lives.  For the patient, I know it's the hardest.  It takes a toll on your body, your mind and your emotions.  It makes it difficult to fight through anything when all you are doing is jumping from one doctor's appointment to another and from one procedure to another and from one major surgery to another.  It takes a strong willed person to survive all of that and I don't know if I could ever do it. 

For me, it's the worrying in waiting rooms, waiting on lab and pathology results, care giving, driving places I would have never done alone before, making life altering decisions, getting no sleep and most of all...watching my husband go through it all.   

Today, we got some great news that hopefully marks the beginning of the end of this time in our lives.  It seems like we've been on the "waiting" end of so many pathology reports and this is the first one to give us fantastic news!  No malignancy is music to our ears!! 

With the medical part well on it's way to calming down, there's so much more that I hope to be looking back on one day.  When we are cleared to go home by the doctors, I will be so happy, but at the same time, scared.  The things I must face have been here all along, but I know now, it's getting closer to me facing them head on...like a train coming right at me.  So, while the illness we have had to deal with was awful and interrupted our lives immensely, it allowed me to take things day by day....and now I have to be ready to decide for my future. 

Never Gonna Forget....

We are swimming where the snakes are....at the bottom of the well.
So silent and peaceful in the darkness where we fell.
But we are not snakes and what's more, we never will be.
If we stay swimming here forever we will never be free.

I heard them ringing the bells in heaven and hell.
They've got a secret they're getting ready to tell.
It's falling from the sky.
It's calling from the grave.
Open your eyes boy, I think we are saved...
Open your eyes boy, I think we are saved.

Let's take a walk on the bridge.... right over this mess.
Don't need to tell me a thing baby, you've already confessed...
And I raised my voice to the air...
And we were blessed.
It's hard to give.
It's hard to get.
But everybody needs a little forgiveness.

We are calling for help tonight on a thin phone line.
As usual we're having ourselves one hell of a time.
But the planes keep flying right over our heads...
No matter how loud we shout.
Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey
And we keep waving and waving our arms in the air but we're all tired now.

I heard somebody say...today's the day.
A big ol' hurricane...she's blowing our way.
Knockin' over the buildings...
Killing all the lights...
Open your eyes boy, we made it through the night.

It's hard to give.
It's hard to get.
It's hard to give.
But still I think it's the best bet.
Hard to give....
Never gonna forget...
But everybody needs a little forgiveness.
Everybody needs a little forgiveness.

Time's Up

Search history, my boy, and see
What petty selfishness has done.
Find if you can one victory
That little minds have ever won.
There is no record there to read
Of men who fought for self alone,
No instance of a single deed
Splendor they may proudly own.

Through all life's story you will find
The miser—with his hoarded gold—
A hermit, dreary and unkind,
An outcast from the human fold.
Men hold him up to view with scorn,
A creature by his wealth enslaved,
A spirit craven and forlorn,
Doomed by the money he has saved.

No man was ever truly great
Who sought to serve himself alone,
Who put himself above the state,
Above the friends about him thrown.
No man was ever truly glad
Who risked his joy on hoarded pelf,
And gave of nothing that he had
Through fear of needing it himself.

For selfishness is wintry cold,
And bitter are its joys at last,
The very charms it tries to hold,
With woes are quickly overcast.
And only he shall gladly live,
And bravely die when God shall call,
Who gathers but that he may give,
And with his fellows shares his all.


-"Selfishness," a Poem By Edgar Albert Guest

No Apple Pie For Me...

For the past several years, the excitement and build up to a certain special, fall day in late September has always been well worth the anticipation.  All it really is, is a day in the country with my mom and sisters, apple picking at Apple Annies, a charming little apple orchard and pumpkin patch in Willcox, Arizona.  It's also known as, my happy place.  We always go on the first official weekend of fall, which is when they have their all you can eat, apple pancakes and sausage and their country craft fair.  The years we've gone have been some of the best days of my life.  You may think that it sounds silly, but spending that day with my mom and sisters make it pure bliss.

We arrive at the apple orchard just in time for the fresh pancake and sausage breakfast.  We find our parking space in the huge dirt lot and as we step out of the car, we are instantly hit with the smell of fresh kettle corn and apple cider donuts.  We see all the craft tents and huge barrels of granny smith apples only steps away.  As we make our way through the entrance, we start to smell the apple smoked sausage and cinnamon apple syrup.  We fill our faces with the delicious breakfast and head out for some apple picking. The orchard is beautiful.  It's granny smith season when we go, so the fields are filled with gorgeous trees of deep green, with hints of yellow and orange.  The apples are bright yellowish-green and the trail is lined with fallen red and green apples.  We take about a million pictures of every inch of the orchard every time!  Through the years, we've learned that we only need to pick a few and then purchase the rest back at the apple stand.  After we choose our apples, then it's time for the country bakery.  We usually come out of there with arms full of apple bread, apple butter, pumpkin fudge, honey sticks and lots more!  We have learned through the years, to be prepared, so we come with empty coolers with ice packs for the goods.  Next, we usually hit up the county craft fair.  It's so much fun to see all the artsy booths.  We are usually feeling pretty crafty about that time of year, so the excitement we have while studying all the new creations is beyond the greatest feeling.  After checking out the booths, we hit up the apple cider donut stand and the country gift shop.  The gift shop is filled with primitive decor and whimsical country items.  It's so much fun and really hard to resist buying something! 

After the apple orchard, we head about a mile down the road to the pumpkin patch.  This is where we buy fresh produce, including fresh corn!  I have been known to purchase their fried green tomato mix and lots and lots of fresh jalapenos.  We usually take pictures of the bright orange pumpkins laying in the huge patch and also get some shots of the golden corn fields.  It's so breathtaking.  I love it. 

It's also become a tradition, that on our way home,  we stop and have a late lunch at our favorite Mexican food restaurant in Benson called McGaley's.   They have the best chile rellenos I've ever had in my life.  It's just an amazing day, all around, filled with fun, fresh air, shopping and lots and lots of delicious food!

The next day, Sunday, we always have a full-on baking day at my mom's house.  We bake apple pies, apple struedle and apple cupcakes.  At the end of the day, every inch of my mom's kitchen is covered in flour, cinnamon and apple peels.  It's definitely worth it and I wouldn't trade it for anything. 

Sadly, I missed our annual trip this year.  I'm tied up in Northern California still and surely did not want to still be here come fall.  My mom and sister, Ginger, did still go, which I am happy about, but it's also a little bit sad that Bri and I weren't there, too.  This is definitely an off year and I hope that it only means that next year is all the more better.  The tradition will continue for years and years to come and I hope that it never fades away.  So, next year, I hope we will all find ourselves, once again, in my happy place. 

Trapeze Paper Crafts!

Just a quick post to let you know that I now have a Craft Blog!!  It's called Trapeze Paper Crafts and you can check it out here.  Thanks for stopping by!!

You even had me singing along right with you....

I recently said..."all we need is music...music and love," and I do mean it.  Not literally of course...but I know music and love have gotten me through some pretty hard times and have made the good times even better.  Music is inspiring, uplifting and absolutely beautiful.  Making music....sometimes is even better.  Just ask my dad. Ask him what one item he'd take to a deserted island.  He'd say his guitar...I guarantee it.  A lot of people are lucky enough to make their passion a huge part of their lives. I believe it's important to do so.  Unfortunately though, some people take it to the extreme and miss out on so many other important things going on everyday, because they are so self-involved.  And some people are the opposite...they always do for others...and never for themselves.  But then, there's those people who inspire and amaze us....the ones that can do it all!  They have generous hearts, loving souls and strong passions.  My dad is one of these people.

I know my dad's passion in life is playing music.  His other passion is his family.  I think if he looks back on his life so far, he would smile and be proud and happy of how he's been living.  Him and my mom are both amazing musicians and they have had great adventures traveling the country playing their music.  I'm so glad they got to experience that.   My dad's a natural band leader and he's definitely in his element while on stage performing.  Years later, when the time came, he became 100% devoted to his family of three, then four, then five and finally six.  Not only was he at every sporting event for each and every one of us through the years, and trust me there were a lot of them, but he was so passionate about our performance and ability that he would strive to make us better and better.  He played catch in the backyard, coached our teams, ran clinics, did endless fundraising and always remained our biggest, truest fan.  He even did a guitar accompaniment for me as I played my flute and sang my way to $2,000.00 in scholarships my senior year of high school. We all went out of state to college at some point in our lives.  I can't even tell you how many mini-vans, trucks and trailers he loaded up and drove across country for each one of us.  Then 10 months later, did it all again to bring us home for the summer.  All of this...and still able to keep his love for playing music.  We would hear him most nights sitting in his office, strumming the guitar and singing.  When we were young, it was that comforting sound while we'd lay in bed at night that somehow made us feel safe and loved.  Now, it's when we go over to our parent's house and he's playing guitar and singing away in his office.  It's normal to us....it's my dad.

Our Christmas Eve's are always filled with my dad playing guitar and everyone requesting their favorite song by him, my mom and brother and even others might take a turn singing sometimes.  It's a pretty magical night, Christmas Eve with our family...and I feel extra blessed every year.

I remember something that my brother said one time that I will never forget.  My brother is the only boy with 3 sisters, and he's very much passionate about music also.  Him and my dad are definitely not buddy buddy...it's just their personalities, but there's certain things within them that are so alike.  I've learned that my brother knows a lot about music and a lot of my favorite musicians come from recommendations he's given me.   I can't remember where we were, or how long ago it was, but one day we were all together somewhere and my dad was playing guitar and singing on a recording we were listening to.  My brother said..."gosh...he has such a good voice."  He's absolutely right.

My dad lives his passion almost everyday and it's become part of who he is. It never took away from one ounce of our upbringing or our lives....In fact, I believe it made my brother, sisters and I better and happier people....and I know it made us passionate. 

I have been playing guitar for a few years now and though I'm not nearly as good as him, I can finally feel why he loves it so much.  To be able to play music with your own hands and sing along with the chords....there's not another feeling quite as great as that...besides, of course, the love for family and friends.  So, I truly get it dad...and I agree...all we need is music...music and love.

My parents in the 70's.

Here they are again...Clayton and Sally of "Clayton, Sallee & Company"

My family around 19 years ago...

My dad :)