Saturday, August 30, 2014

I Hope They Fixed His Heart...

My husband has been through a lot the past 3 years.  Let's face it...we have both been through a lot.  I haven't really posted a lot about his hospital stays, surgeries or medical journey...but this is my blog, my memories and I want to remember those times, in hopes that someday I will look back and know it's all behind us.

I won't go into great detail, but David's last surgery was scary.  It wasn't planned out and anticipated like his liver surgery or liver transplant.  No, this surgery came on fast.  It was a huge surprise, so unexpected....but absolutely necessary.  When we heard that he needed this surgery to live....or he'd be dead in 5 years....I think every one's heart skipped a beat.

David had aortic valve replacement.  For David, this surgery was anything but routine.  When all the doctors, specialists and surgeons kept throwing out words like, "high risk" and "unique case" and "precious" became very scary, very fast.  Because David is a transplant patient....everything is high risk for him.  He's been through a lot....cut open a lot....diagnosed a lot, but for some reason, this was the surgery that had me the most worried....and this is the surgery that made me realize how very brave my husband is.

Nothing is easy when he's sick.  Especially when a surgery or hospital stay is necessary.  It's always extra hard and seems so impossible to face at the time, but as I look least I can say that he....rather, through it.  It's not like we asked for this.  Another surgery?  Yes, another surgery.  The ignorance and stupid ass looks on some people's faces this time around were enough to make me question any relationship I thought I may have had with them.  We didn't ask for this!

I may have missed more work and used up the last of my "vacation time,"......
I may have learned that the support and empathy from certain people hit a wall/maxed out....
I sure did find myself, in my office at work, while David still laid in his hospital bed...and my post work commute to Tucson every night to be with him got more tiring as the days went by....
I definitely knew the hospital bills would come pouring in....
He may have a few more scars on his body...and I might have a bit less job security.....but I know, without a doubt, that I was 100% where I wanted and needed to be....right by his side.  So, if it sounds like I'm playing the victim or whining....I don't give a shit.  This is my blog, remember?

At the same time that we realize some support is temporary, I must say that I have come to know unconditional support very well.  That's because it's displayed by each and every person in my family.  My parents, siblings and some other family members of ours are amazing and they love and support us in every possible way.  Certain friends have done the same.  Nobody owes us anything.  Nobody has to love and support us unconditionally, but it's those that do it naturally that are the very reasons we make it through each time.

The view from his room in Cardiac ICU


  1. Oh Amber, I can't imagine what you have been through and how scared you all must have been. I can't believe that anyone would feel or make you feel like you "play the victim" if anything you keep it all in. I continue to pray for David and his healing and yours too. You let it out all you want and if you need anything at all, I am here!

    1. Thank you so much, Robin....for all your sweet comments....and for being my blog follower. :) ...and most of all for being my amazing friend! :) love ya..

  2. Life has not been easy for you, my sweet Amber. You are the most loving, giving person and I'm proud of you for having the strength to stand strong when you've needed to. Thanks to God for bringing you and your David through these challenging times. May he continue to grow stronger. We love you.