For me, New Year's Day is a day for peace, reflection and hope. I like to look ahead and believe that the year that has passed will remain there and only the happy memories will shine through. It's looking ahead and hoping that peace and harmony will find me in the new year. Lately, I have felt extremely disconnected from everything. It's a feeling of running and running but never reaching my destination, or even catching a glimpse of it. At work....it's the same way. What am I working towards? I give 110% at work every single day....and never seem to feel comfortable or like I belong there. Maybe because it's changed...or maybe I've changed. I don't know. In life, I feel the same way...like I'm trying so hard to reach a place where I can start actually living and I just can't get there. It's the most uneasy feeling in the world. There are little pockets of time, where I feel great. Those times are with my family. When my mom and dad have us over for dinner, or when I go peach and apple picking with my mom and sisters. Any times spent with my nephews or crafting with my mom and sisters is always fun and peaceful, too. When David is feeling good and we can relax and watch a movie together, or go to dinner....it's nice, too. However, most of my days, as of late, are filled with anxiety and stress...which, yes, I know that's just life, but those days are also paired with extreme disconnection from my world.
On New Year's Day, I like to drive out to the Folklore Preserve up Ramsey Canyon, which is a few miles south of my house. It's usually still covered in snow, but this year....the sun melted most of it away before January 1st. I was still able to capture some beautiful pictures. I just feel calm there.