Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Waited for you, but you never came around at all....

It's been almost 3 months that David has been #1 on the AB list for his transplant and that we have been relocated....and still no call!!  It's actually sad when you think about the fact that we are basically waiting for someone to die, so David can live, but that is exactly the case.  We have been through the nervousness of imposing on his Aunt and Uncle, in their home for an unknown length of time.... and through the "making the best of our situation" phase, where we have explored (frugally) different parts of Marin County and San Francisco....to the place where are now, which is impatient and more than ready for the damn call!  His Aunt and Uncle have been so gracious and more than hospitable.  We eat great, have fun playing a lot of tennis (when David feels up to it) and have the best tour guides San Francisco can offer us!  They have been absolutely wonderful....but I think they are more than ready for the call, too.  After all, the real tough part is going to be while he's in the hospital, and the month recovery time at their house.....and then the rest of his life.  It's like we are waiting for things to get harder and tougher. 

To quote one of the transplant social workers...."You have a long road ahead, so you should stop worrying about the little things in your life and get ready to face big obstacles to come."  Thanks...thanks a lot...that makes us feel great.  Bitch.   I cried 3 times in the transplant class that we had to attend.  David and I were in a room full of 60 + year olds who all looked very sick.  It was sad...and scary.  David still looks healthy and he is on the cancer side of liver disease, as opposed to the "alcoholic" side, so everyone there thought we were just there to learn for someone else...when in reality, the healthy looking 32 year old sitting amongst them is waiting for that life-altering phone call, just like them.  The reality and life-changing events that will go on are enough to depress anyone, but when the social worker said those words to us...I just broke down.  What an insensitive woman.  I mean I understand a doctor having that kind of bluntness and attitude...but she's a social worker!!   Luckily, she isn't David's social worker.  She's one of several that they have, but David's is nicer and more understanding to everything.  I felt like this other, rude one was just treating us like a statistic.  Maybe she should re-think her field of work!  David has already been through 2 major liver resections in his life, so we are somewhat prepared for the surgery side of things, but the danger and risk that is involved is something that I can't let myself think about.  And, thereafter, he will be on anti-rejection drugs (as any transplanted person has to be) for the rest of his life.  It's just hard to face that....and I'm sure so much harder for him.  This illness has really affected him and I hope that after all is said and done...he, well we, come out of this better than ever.  It's hard to be positive...but we can still hope.

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