Flashback to November 6, 2014
"Maybe it's alright...Maybe we won't fight anymore...Maybe love is waiting at the end of every war.."
Sometimes, I honestly don't know who I am. I just don't know. I can't remember a time that I was comfortable in my own skin. How do people figure out who they truly are when they have so little chance to discover it? Most days, I have no motivation or inspiration, because other aspects of my life basically suck it out of me and I guess I just can't figure out how to live with balance.
Although I can't seem to achieve simple balance in my life....there are those few times that I feel so alive, so inspired and so free that it makes me want to re-think everything I've done with my life....It makes me want to run away and start over, change paths....be happy. My family is first and foremost the most important thing to me. They remind me everyday that I am lucky...and truly blessed. The other element of happiness is music. Most of all...live music. The melodies and lyrics created by my favorite musicians are almost hypnotic to me. Especially the euphoric sounds of Patty Griffin.
On November 6th, Patty Griffin performed at the Rialto Theatre in Tucson, Arizona and it was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. She performed the familiar songs that I love and that are embedded in my soul. Being there, amidst the beautiful music....I felt free. I felt like the things in my life that make me question who I am were all washed away. Those things became smaller and I was instantly consumed with simple clarity. It becomes clear that my passions and my happiness should return to the forefront of my life. They should shine through, instead of my fears and heartache.
Patty Griffin is greatest songwriter that ever lived. Her songs will break your heart...but they will also fill your soul with so much hope. Her writing seems impossible. It's the most beautiful art in all the world. Her lyrics will forever be woven into my bones.
After the concert, my husband and I drove home. We had about an hour and a half drive in which we decided to dive into his old CD case and listen to songs from the 90's...which came with memories of high school flooding into our vehicle. Tupac and Boys II Men were blasting as we sailed down the interstate and as we sang along, with impressive memory of the lyrics I might add, with such carefree spirit...all of a sudden, we were happy and young again. It was like when we were first dating. After being together for 15 years..and married for 8 years...life has certainly changed from our dating days. Back then, we were so incredibly unaware of the years to come. Obstacles and hard times don't even begin to describe what we've been through. Sometimes fighting with someone you love takes more out of you then anything you'll ever have to face in all your life. But on this night...I felt a shift...a shift in the earth, a shift in our relationship....a shift in my heart. It's like we both knew that the fun we used to have together was still there...and we both still wanted it with each other. Even though David mainly went with me to the concert to support my love for her....I think her music changed him as well. It's amazing what her music can spark in all of us.